Ode from a Camel

I'm Grumpy Gus, the Bactrian bruiser,
Built like a desert Battle Cruiser
Carrying my pendulous stored-fat oozers
Far across the sand.
My shoes are
Killing me but I still stand.
Any snoozer
Gets the chop.
On this job.
No room for a slob
It's strictly piece-rate, cash in hand.
I'm Grumpy Gus, the Bactrian bruiser.
I don't stay in much so please excuse a
Certain lack of social graces
I'm just so used to going places
Always seeing different faces
Always kicking over the traces
But you'll never see me in camel races
Never put me through my paces
No I just stand alone and tarry
And watch the maniac
Heaving one-humped Dromedaries
Charge around the track
But do they never don't they ever
Get a cardiac?
And do they never don't they ever
Sense their obvious lack?
They seem to be as happy as Larry
Despite their obvious drawback
Dromedary Schmomedary
Only one mammammammary
I mean would you let your daughter marry
Someone with half what they should carry?
Inside their skinny sac(k)?
Dromedary Schmomedary
No contest; know what I mean, 'Arry?
They can't compete with my bumpiness
My technicolour grumpiness
My onefold twofold humpiness
My centrefold-like lumpiness
If they try to get pugilistic
If they dare try to resort to fistic
-uffs they quickly meet their match
Natch.
'Cos I'm Grumpy Gus, the Bactrian bruiser.
Fifty contest - never a loser
And if you've got a beef
I'll thump
You in the rump
'Cos I'm the chief
And if you give me any grief
I'll pump
My saliva through my teeth
I trumpet
"How's that for an aperitif?"
Victorious, I slump
Onto my haunches with relief
Another desert stand-off won
Bactrian Camel 2 Dromedary 1.
So whose a
Well-'ard boy then? I am, loser!
Don't pick a fight with me down the boozer
'Cos I'm Grumpy Gus, the Bactrian bruiser.
And I'm triumphant, macho, butch
But wait! Perhaps I do protest too much
Do I use too much verbosity
To proclaim the simple philosophy
Of my [undoubted] superiority?
Yes? Is this too wordy a response?
Yes? Well, let me try to be concise
I say Why get the hump only once
When you can get it twice?