Listen, people, could I have your attention, please? Another problem's cropped up, as you may have heard. The mermaids are back. This is, of course, just what we don't need.
As you know, their invasion is as recurrent as that of the algae but unfortunately less predictable. They've not been seen for eight seasons, by my calculation, but they're currently lying off on the other side of the sandbanks in the open sea, but there is at least one of them here in the lagoon. I don't need to remind you of the cuts, and in my view, we simply don't have the resources to deal with them. The authorities, however, don't regard them as a problem. But of course, if anything does happen, as you are only too aware, it will become a police matter, not a public health issue, just like everything else, so we'll have to deal with it.
However, as I'm sure that you suspect, the shit's already hit the waterway, I fear: I think we've lost a man. You know who I mean. He's still here, but he's not here. He refuses to be parted from his uniform, and for some reason he keeps his collar up at all times, but his brain has moved on. So I don't know what to do. I can't afford to lose a good interrogator but the state won't replace him while he's drawing a salary because they say they have no contingency substitution budget.
However, they can, of course, still afford to pay their precious watchers, and what I've got here is what was recorded by the particular watcher assigned to him and then left as usual in the mouth of the statue.
Trouble is, the watcher's now disappeared, as far as we can tell. Gone to get drunk on his or her casual earnings, no doubt. We can't locate whoever it is, because we're short of finders as well, and we can't recruit any more, otherwise I can promise you that we would find whoever it is and their anonymity wouldn't protect them and we might be able to get more information. This is all off the record, of course.
Some say these mermaids are a sign that the plague's coming back. It's possible: I don't know – the off-shore fires have certainly been brighter recently. Others say that they've been sent here to provide pressure to get the undisclosed felonies of the last two years solved. You know the ones I refer to. You will gain some insight into these conspiracy theories in these documents. Whatever it is, it'll either happen or it won't, and if it does happen, I doubt that we'll have the means to deal with it.
But this is all we have at the moment: there are three alleged testimonies here, on two scraps of paper, each fewer than five hundred words. They might be the truth; they might be myths.
Anyway, have a read and see what you think. I'd be grateful for any ideas you might have. There's a copy of each for all of you. I've only read them briefly myself. I'll read them again with you now. Here they are. Please read at your own speed.
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